define key terms
more examples
embed refrencing throughout
triangulate
explain and back up what you are saying
After reading the initial draft of my essay pete told me to alter the question to make it fit more towards my essay. Still yet to properly introduce essay and still need to define key terms. I understood eveyting pete was saying but at this stage I was just getting my ideas and thoughts on the page, didnt read over so must of seemed pretty messy and all over the place to him but it gave him an idea of where I was coming from.
Actions:
write intorduction that introduces the question define key terms otherwise the reader is none the wiser of what you are trying to explain
refine question
better structure
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